Sorry Ambush, as we have not posted in a while. We have been too busy polishing our skills before heading into the playoffs. Tonight, we have a very tough game against one of our arch nemesis, the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Celsius Softball team. Out of nowhere, we received this rousing e-mail from our elder statesmen, EP:
"There are three reasons why we are playing this game. The first is because we are determined to preserve our traditional liberties. Some crazy Celsius dudes decided they were supermen and that it was their holy mission to rule the softball world. They've been pushing people around all over the league, looting, killing, and abusing millions of innocents. They were getting set to do the same thing to us. We have o fight to prevent being subjugated.
The second reason we are playing is to defeat and wipe out the douchers who started all this god damned son-of-bitchery. They didn't think we could or would fight, and they weren't the only ones who thought that, either. There are certain people in Coralville who had the same idea. Both were wrong.
The third reason we are playing is because men like to play softball They always have and they always will. Some sophists and other crackpots deny that. They don't know what they're talking about. They are either god damned fools or cowards, or both. Men like to play softball, and if they don't they're not real men.
If you don't like to play softball, CW doesn't want you around. You'd better get out before he kicks you out. But there is one thing to remember. In softball, it takes more than the desire to play to win. You've got to have more than guts to lick the enemy. You must also have brains. It takes brains and guts to win softball games. A man with guts but no brains is only half a baller.
We licked the 5 year olds with sticks and BWW because we had brains as well as guts. We're going to lick them for the same reason.
That's all and good luck."
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