I have had this long running back and forth with this goofball ISU fan about Jamie Pollard and his success at Iowa State… Or lack thereof. It has gotten to the point that I think I’d like to put this all down in a blog for his own public humiliation. You guys should enjoy his foolishness as much as I do.
Let me first start out by saying Jamie Pollard is to ISU what the stomach flu is to me, not wanted and super crappy. Jamie Pollard is Michael Scott (minus the humor). Everything the guy does just makes you cringe. You want to love the guy, but at the end of every episode (decision) he is still a huge doucher that no one likes. Oh, what? You are really going to question my authority on this? Let’s start here:
1. He fired Dan McCarney. Danny Mac seems to be the only guy in the world that had two requirements that could give ISU long term success. One, he knew how to get serviceable players to Ames, which by the way is a beautiful town if you’re coming from Coon Rapids, IA. Two, he actually wanted to be there for the long haul. ISU has been two things in the past; a career crusher or a stepping-stone.
That lunatic could inspire his team like no one else at ISU, before or since. Dude could get his players fired up like William Wallace preparing to take on the Brits. Unlike his complete failure of a successor, whom we will discuss later. That dude could make an orgy boring.
2. He tried to pass the McCarney firing off as a resignation and even cried to emphasize the story. Phoney!
3. He put up that ridiculous billboard. ISU was on quite a roll against Iowa until that genius move took place. To top himself, this gutless turd didn’t have the spine to leave it up through the Iowa-ISU football game that year. You’d think if the man was so proud of winning the Hy-Vee trophy then he’d want to have it on display the week of the Iowa game.
4. He signed Greg McDermott to a nine year deal. Nine years! That’s a long time for a guy that took UNI to the first round of the NCAA tourney three years in a row. He has managed to take ISU nowhere in three years. They have a record of 44-48 since his arrival with a Big 12 record of 14-32. The dude has had nearly as many players leave the program as he does conference wins (11 players if you’re counting). Wait what? There is talk of another guy leaving early after this season? Weird.
5. Wayne Morgan was fired by Pollard without notice. Morgan said he was told the basketball program should be the marquee of the athletic department but "we don't think you can do that." Morgan could at least get the Cloney’s into post season play. I guess getting destroyed in the Big 12 is what Jamie meant by “marquee”.
6. He sold the ISU faithful on Gene Chizik, the man of God and integrity. Iowa State athletic director Jamie Pollard told The Des Moines Register. "We were told we wouldn't be able to get him by a lot of people. He's the real deal."
Yeah he was the real deal alright. He led the mighty Cyclones from the depths of the Big 12 to uh, well even deeper into the cellar. He had a 5-19 overall record with a 2-14 Big 12 record in two years. The good news for The Real Deal is that some other school recognized that ISU stunk so much that they gave him a shot at their head coaching position. The man of faith then blatantly lied to his boss (Pollard) and Bolted out of town after a 5 minute meeting with his team. The Real Deal told a transferring player earlier in the year that he was a quitter for doing the same thing. Nice choice of a high class man of integrity Pollard. It’s your job to not get tricked by a shyster in that situation.
7. Chizik's introduction in 2006, when he entered a raucous news conference at Hilton Coliseum attended by thousands of fans by coming out of a large inflatable helmet filled with smoke. Just another embarrassment to the ISU program. Act like you’ve been there before.
8. Speaking of inflatable stuff. How about that silly tunnel at the football games? It’s probably my favorite thing about ISU right now. Hey guys we’re going to build our traditions here off of other team’s traditions. We’re going to use the corny inflatable helmet used by so many other teams, we’re gonna use the Miami smoke tunnel & the USC uniforms. Maybe if we look like a winning team we’ll accidentally win. Don't hold your breath.
9. Pollard has hired new head coaches for football twice, men's basketball, wrestling, gymnastics, soccer, cross country/track and field, women's golf, tennis, and softball. That is a ridiculous track record for a guy that has been there for four years. He’s been paying out a lot of terminated contracts. I’m sure ISU can afford that. That cat's trigger finger is itchier than Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction.
10. He has convinced ISU fans that women’s athletics are important. In truth no one should care but the ISU faithful sure are proud of their women. The rest of the world says big deal.
So here’s where we are, Pollard has come to ISU selling major improvements & swinging the hatchet. So far that has brought nothing in the way of wins. The team is worse in the two money making sports than they were before he arrived. Facilities have improved from money that he raised but the problem is that he improved the facilities in Ames. It’s like putting a mirrored ceiling in your closet. No one cares.
This thing with Jamie can end two ways. He makes good on all of his promises and becomes the next guy to step on that stone to get out of town or he fails miserably. The most interesting thing will be that when he does fail he will leave town and sell you all out. Watch and see it will be all about how he just couldn’t get enough support and the town just couldn’t fulfill his vision.
Live Once, Get Wet, Then Die Tiger Fans!
Let me first start out by saying Jamie Pollard is to ISU what the stomach flu is to me, not wanted and super crappy. Jamie Pollard is Michael Scott (minus the humor). Everything the guy does just makes you cringe. You want to love the guy, but at the end of every episode (decision) he is still a huge doucher that no one likes. Oh, what? You are really going to question my authority on this? Let’s start here:
1. He fired Dan McCarney. Danny Mac seems to be the only guy in the world that had two requirements that could give ISU long term success. One, he knew how to get serviceable players to Ames, which by the way is a beautiful town if you’re coming from Coon Rapids, IA. Two, he actually wanted to be there for the long haul. ISU has been two things in the past; a career crusher or a stepping-stone.
That lunatic could inspire his team like no one else at ISU, before or since. Dude could get his players fired up like William Wallace preparing to take on the Brits. Unlike his complete failure of a successor, whom we will discuss later. That dude could make an orgy boring.
2. He tried to pass the McCarney firing off as a resignation and even cried to emphasize the story. Phoney!
3. He put up that ridiculous billboard. ISU was on quite a roll against Iowa until that genius move took place. To top himself, this gutless turd didn’t have the spine to leave it up through the Iowa-ISU football game that year. You’d think if the man was so proud of winning the Hy-Vee trophy then he’d want to have it on display the week of the Iowa game.
4. He signed Greg McDermott to a nine year deal. Nine years! That’s a long time for a guy that took UNI to the first round of the NCAA tourney three years in a row. He has managed to take ISU nowhere in three years. They have a record of 44-48 since his arrival with a Big 12 record of 14-32. The dude has had nearly as many players leave the program as he does conference wins (11 players if you’re counting). Wait what? There is talk of another guy leaving early after this season? Weird.
5. Wayne Morgan was fired by Pollard without notice. Morgan said he was told the basketball program should be the marquee of the athletic department but "we don't think you can do that." Morgan could at least get the Cloney’s into post season play. I guess getting destroyed in the Big 12 is what Jamie meant by “marquee”.
6. He sold the ISU faithful on Gene Chizik, the man of God and integrity. Iowa State athletic director Jamie Pollard told The Des Moines Register. "We were told we wouldn't be able to get him by a lot of people. He's the real deal."
Yeah he was the real deal alright. He led the mighty Cyclones from the depths of the Big 12 to uh, well even deeper into the cellar. He had a 5-19 overall record with a 2-14 Big 12 record in two years. The good news for The Real Deal is that some other school recognized that ISU stunk so much that they gave him a shot at their head coaching position. The man of faith then blatantly lied to his boss (Pollard) and Bolted out of town after a 5 minute meeting with his team. The Real Deal told a transferring player earlier in the year that he was a quitter for doing the same thing. Nice choice of a high class man of integrity Pollard. It’s your job to not get tricked by a shyster in that situation.
7. Chizik's introduction in 2006, when he entered a raucous news conference at Hilton Coliseum attended by thousands of fans by coming out of a large inflatable helmet filled with smoke. Just another embarrassment to the ISU program. Act like you’ve been there before.
8. Speaking of inflatable stuff. How about that silly tunnel at the football games? It’s probably my favorite thing about ISU right now. Hey guys we’re going to build our traditions here off of other team’s traditions. We’re going to use the corny inflatable helmet used by so many other teams, we’re gonna use the Miami smoke tunnel & the USC uniforms. Maybe if we look like a winning team we’ll accidentally win. Don't hold your breath.
9. Pollard has hired new head coaches for football twice, men's basketball, wrestling, gymnastics, soccer, cross country/track and field, women's golf, tennis, and softball. That is a ridiculous track record for a guy that has been there for four years. He’s been paying out a lot of terminated contracts. I’m sure ISU can afford that. That cat's trigger finger is itchier than Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction.
10. He has convinced ISU fans that women’s athletics are important. In truth no one should care but the ISU faithful sure are proud of their women. The rest of the world says big deal.
So here’s where we are, Pollard has come to ISU selling major improvements & swinging the hatchet. So far that has brought nothing in the way of wins. The team is worse in the two money making sports than they were before he arrived. Facilities have improved from money that he raised but the problem is that he improved the facilities in Ames. It’s like putting a mirrored ceiling in your closet. No one cares.
This thing with Jamie can end two ways. He makes good on all of his promises and becomes the next guy to step on that stone to get out of town or he fails miserably. The most interesting thing will be that when he does fail he will leave town and sell you all out. Watch and see it will be all about how he just couldn’t get enough support and the town just couldn’t fulfill his vision.
Live Once, Get Wet, Then Die Tiger Fans!
Posts
Apologies to the deleted anonymous comment. We have been having difficulties of having the comments enabled and we finally figured it out this weekend. Feel free to get wet on the comments.
ReplyDelete