Happy Venereal Day!

Alrighta so we aren't always going to talk about softball and our softball related greatness. Sometimes we like to discuss important relevant topics, give life advice or talk about whatever awesome stuff we're interested in. Today it's life advice time. Since tomorrow is Valentine's Day we thought it would be a great idea to raise awareness for avoiding VD on VD. So here are a few things to think about:

• Do not go on any dates with a girl that has a male friend that wears furry hats and colorful shoes. He's likely a pimp and she's likely got the clap.


• Do not go all Valentino on any women that have meth mouth or drug related issues. Anyone that doesn't take care of their teeth likely doesn't take care of their nether regions either. If you're willing to put something in your mouth that came from a stranger on the street then who knows what you'll put in your bajingo.


• Do not hook it up with a lady or gentleman that has a chronic itch down low. Unless of course you have some extra crab shampoo you need to get used up before it expires.


• Do not date any women that have been romantically linked to Magic Johnson or Roberto Alomar.


• Do not date anyone named Magic Johnson or Roberto Alomar.


• If the word canker, shanker or any other -er related words come up, pull the old vanishing date routine on your companion. Better to be safe than sorry.


• Do not go on a date with my high school girlfriend Tracy Wanamaker. I don't know if she has VD but I'd like to ruin her Valentine's Day. Screw you Tracy!


• If you make it back to his or her place check the medicine cabinet for salves, creams and/or medicated lotions. If you find any, conveniently state that you think you forgot something in your car and run like the wind.


• If you are in a pinch for a profo do not use the wrapper from the personalized M & M's that you received as a gift.


• You could always do what our loser opponents do, which is sit at home and cry about how sad & weak you are. No chance of getting Chlamydia that way.


• You could always go on a date with a Bayside Tiger. We are all finally free and clear of all STDs. Right Vin?

Thus concludes our public service for the week. Go out there and get your beak wet! Now let's slow it down for the ladies.