The Curse Continues...

A-hoy, Ambush.

At long last your beloved Bayside Tigers took the battlefield last Wednesday for a season-opening double-header. Seating was scarce at the Hawkeye Softball Complex as fans are believed to have waited overnight for the best bleacher seats. Ticketmaster could not be reached for comment but it has been rumored box seats sold faster than Miley Cyrus tickets at a pedophile convention.

Alas, things did not go well for the Tigers in game one as they squared off against Firehouse Lawn Care and their ever-talkative, gregarious middle-aged pitcher. Playing one man down as Nick served his league-mandated one game suspension, the Tigers put up a "valiant" effort but came up short. A steady diet of well-placed junk and friendly banter kept the Jungle Warriors off-balance most of the game. Only five Tigers reached base and when they did, they were immediately done in by double-plays and some wickedly stupid base running by team manager and sparkplug, China Wall.

Mercifully, the game was halted after six as the Tigers fell victim to the 10 run rule.

The night was not completely lost as the Tigers were able to rebound in the nightcap of the doubleheader against a feisty but ultimately over-matched Buffalo Wild Wings squad. Bayside, playing as the home team, jumped out to an early lead in the bottom of the first as the first three men to the plate came around to score. After lead-off singles by Vandemonium and Tracy (looking very J-Crew in his signature Khakis), Nick made his return to the lineup and brought the two speedsters home with a double to right center field. OT followed with a double of his own two batters later to spot the Tigers a 3-0 lead.

The B-Dub-Three boys came back over the next few innings despite a strong outing on the mound by Vin. As the bottom of the fifth rolled around, the mighty cats found themselves staring at a 5-3 deficit. Once again, Mr. Khaki provided the spark the sluggish Bayside bats needed with a hot-shot single up the middle. Nick approached the plate and jumped on the first pitch he saw, launching a 275 foot blast that bounced off the top of the fence, landing just over the center field wall. China Wall followed with a stinging line drive two-bagger (not to be confused with his favorite party trick) that nearly put a hole through the chain link in left field and was brought home by OT's second double of the game.

With Bayside clinging to a 6-5 lead, the chicken slingers refused to go away. They threatened in the top of the sixth before the Tigers' turned their team-record third double-play of the evening to get Vin out of a rare jam. It was then that the Kings of the Congo decided to wake their bats the f*%# up ( incidentally , the Tigers resorted back to their five year-old lead bats due to one of two things: A) Our fabulous Easton bats are not yet broken in , or B) In some awkward ploy to bring down the Tigers, Gorman hijacked the mail truck delivering said Easton bats and replaced them with dead ones.) Vin singled, Brett took the first three pitches of his career to draw a walk, Van, Tracy, Nick and Chris singled, OT doubled and when all was said and done the Tigers were up 12-5.

The fowl furnishers put up a couple of garbage runs in the bottom of the seventh but the boys in orange (did you know no other word in the English language rhymes with "orange?" Check Wikipedia) closed the game out and reigned victorious once more.

Once again, the Achilles heal of the Tigers prevailed, as the team of out of shape thirty-somethings is simply not built for double headers . If nothing else, Bayside proved to have the gnarliest jerseys in the league, at least they look pretty losing! Wait….

Check out your favorite B league softball team as they roar back into action next week against Lear Hawk at 9:00 p.m. First twenty fans in the gate have the opportunity to warm up with the Tigers!

So until next time stay wet...

Much Love - The Bayside Tigers